B O D O H

ayat kat ats 2 mmg sesuai tuk parents awek aq. nk tau nape? cuz mmg btul pun. ank dorg ade mslh ngn MARA, instead of helping paying off d amount owned, ade ke patut dorg g mengamuk n marah2 kat die? padahal, awek aq xgune pun duet MARA RM 2000 2, instead parents dorg gak yg gune. awek aq nk beli lappy ngn duet 2, tp parents dorg kate tggu, nk pkai tuk barg2 dapo. so, lappy awek aq lak, parents dorg beli ngn duet sndr, ade plak duet. den bile MARA anta surat die kne blacklist cuz xbyr balik RM 2000 2, dorg mengamuk ckp awek aq plak yg nyusahkn dorg. dari patut dorg pkr cmner nk byr balik, dorg leh plak pkr, tkt name ayh die (penjamin) xdpt apply loan tuk adek2 die nnt bile nk masuk kolej. instead of helping, dorg sruh awek aq stlekn sndr. bapak selfish. 2 ke namenye parents?

bile awek aq da setlekn, (aq byrkn full, awek aq mmg xde duet, aq mmg xksh lgsg, ikhlas nk tlg), bpk die leh plak nk tggikn sore tnye da stlekn lum. tnye baek2 xbleh? bknye duet die pun. bile awek aq da tnjuk resit, tau diam. mmg bodoh. ade ke patut treat ank sndr mcm 2? dorg ptt besyukur dpt ank cm awek aq 2, die yg paling byk besbr n paling byk contribute dlm fmly die. sume blanje klj, die tggung sndr, smpn duet, nk print assgment pun gune duet sndr, shoping duet sndr. tp bile ank ketige dorg (awek aq ank kedua) nk beli bju la, kst la pape je la. sangup plak nk belikn. bleh plak bg duet. awek aq nk mntk duet tuk projek kolej die, bukan maen berat tgn nk bg duet. ckp xde duet. tp bile ank ketige mntk, lju je bg. unfair abis. smpai sngup belikn printer tuk ank ketige sng nk print assgment. ape kes?? xphm tul la. all i can say is, parents awek aq mmg xbesyukur cuz xknl sape diri awek aq nie sbnrnye. die dpt pointer 305 n above lgsg xamek pedulik. 3 kali tuh dpt pointer above 3.5! tp do dey care? NO!!! ungrateful!! i pity dem for not realizing their daughters potential. PATHETIC.

aik,ptong rmbt pun slh ke mak?

ary 2,da lame gak r kot,aq g ptg rmbt at area gombak..ptg pndek la kn..tp no pic 2 show la..huhu..so,d problem is hre,mama xsuke aq ptg rmbt pndk..cm laki la kn..wel,da nme pun gurl,tp klu da penk,apa bule buat? hhahaha..anyways,d next day,aq nk g kuar,g klj..ma xnotice aq ptg rmbt smlm,cuz mak balik kje kol 12 mlm..so,afte aq mnd n da ciap 2,ma notice..apelg,ma bsg ''ko ptg rmbt mcm 2 lagi kin??'' aq jwb,yela..da rimas rmbt lebat sgt n pjg..aq mmg xleh thn rmbt lebat n pjg,dandruff problem n very messy..

so,ma pun bising la kat aq..bising jerit2 tau,bkn bebel..very teruk punye screaming..aq pun diam je,grak sane n cnie nk kms brg g klj..ma ckp byk bnd r,from blaming baby n kwn2 sume la..cuz aq jd cmnie,as mama say, ''mcm jantan''..wel,2 b honest,no 1 change me..aq da mmg cmnie dr kecik lg..i mean naluri suke at gurls la..bout hw i look n dressup as a penk,2 mmg aq xtau sgt lg till i met baby..cuz baby mmg push aq 2 c d world..klu aq xjmp baby,criusly i say,aq cm katak d bwh tempurung..cuz ma mmg strict sgt klu aq nk kuar..n d 1st time aq kuar alone ngn kwn pun,mase aq form 2..kesian tul kn aq nie? huhuhu

so,ma bsing2 lg la..ma ckp, ''ko jgn smpai aq maki hamun ko kin..ma sbr2 pun ade tahap..ma xpnh nk maki2 ko tau x..'' pas2 ma say smthing aq xingt sgt, den ma da stat maki2 aq..babi la,2 la,nie la..ntah la,xingt all d details..hehe..den bile aq stil diam,ma jerit ''ko dgr x ape aq ckp nie kin????'' aq just ckp, ape die? den ma ckp, ''ko nk sgt rmbt pndk kn,meh cnie aq botakn ko teruz..'' pas2 ma actualy amek gunting n pgg kat tgn die..bile mak bsing2 n mrh2 n jerit2 2,ma slalu point d gunting at me..at dat time,aq da mule tkt..tkt ma buat smthing xsdr ke,n aq wory bout my safety..ma pun ade ugut nk koyak2kn bju2 aq..aq risaukn bju2 aq gak,tp at dat moment,aq mmg risaukn psl dr aq dlu..kang xpsl2 klu ma terstab me or cut me hw?2 yg pling aq risau..ma pun ade blame baby,cuz aq ade intrduce her la,as my kkk angkt..ma ciap maki2 baby cm sundal la,babi la,2 la nie la..aq mmg nk bls balik ape mak ckp,cuz all dat nt true..mak xtau sape baby..mak xde hak nk maki2 cm2.tp aq diam je..aq mls nk bls pape wlupun aq terase n mrh,cuz xnk besarkn hal lg..nnt mak ckp ''ank derhaka,lwn balik..'' tp bile aq diam je, pun kne cop, ''ank derhaka,xdgr ape mak ckp..'' pening pale aq..

n den,afte aq a ciap2 kemas nk g klj,aq truz grak..aq da tkt sgt nk lpk lame2 kat umah..pas2 d nex few days,ma lgsg xckp ngn aq..pndg pun x,mcm aq xwujud..tp aq pun diam je,wat dno..den afte a few days,bru ma da ok ngn aq..hehe..wel,d most hateful part is when ma maki2 baby..i realy hate dat part..

1st of March - 30th of March

aq ngn baby da ok balik..on 30th of march..aq tnye die,die stil xcye aq lg kew..die just jwb,laen kl jgn wat lg..meaning jgn pthkn jnji aq lg..but at dat time,wat she meant was,she wana come back 2 me already..tp aq ngah blur dat time..cuz aq cume nk tau jwpn die,dat die stil xcye aq lg kew..xtau lak yg die meant die nk dtg blik..bodo tul aq..hahaha

so,aq just jwb blik,ok,i wont do it agen..n die ngah tggu aq,bg blik cincin die,tp aq kn ngah blur dat time..hehehe..pas2,baby ckp la..''b,i da answer ur question..'' aq jwb,yeah..i noe dat..den die ckp,''b,cn i have my ring back?'' aq dgr je,aq cm xcye..truz aq cm,crius ke nie? die ckp,yeah..kn da answer ur question td..criusly,im sooo blur..hehehe

n so,we r back 2geter nw..n aq xnk us 2 be broken agen..aq nk jge wat i say n do..nk wat die hapy..cuz,she is my life....

saya sgt suka!

im hapy! wel,me n baby stil ade prob hbgn,tp we stil cntact n jmp n lyn mcm biase..so,mustila aq hapy kn? hehehe..smlm kn,aq ngn baby g ts shopping..actualy,baby ade beli dis shoe,dats realy nice 4 her,but some1 at her house stole it from her..i dno who,but she suspects some1..pity her..so,she ask me 2 buy 4 her a new 1,aq leh aje,tp she actualy malu nk ask at 1st..watpe nk malu2 kn,da aq mmg slalu blanje die,so no hal la..lgpun,she stil my wife(wel,u noe wat i mean)..so anything 4 her la..so,we g sane,beli her d shoe..aq pun ape lg,shoping la gak..hehehe

aq nk beli bju kmje lg,cuz aq ade 3 jew,so xckup lerw..aq ingt nk beli itam or pth,tp baby kate nk belikn wane pink lak..adooooi..pink?hmm..aq ok je,tp nt my kind of color gak la..hehehe..so,crik punye carik,tebeli bnd laen plak..hehehe..haaaaa..aq beli leather jaket nie..i think its leather la,tp its so unusually soooo cool looking..baby pun notice,tp aq pkr, 'muat ke aq pakai nie?' so,baby choose d best design n i agree on it..so,aq cube la,bpk la..besa gak 2..aq da la pke bju kmje n vest at d tme..aq sarung je la jaket 2 truz,n with d vest n bju,it fits..hehehe

so,i bought dat jaket,n beli kmje pink gak..hehe..den me n baby decide nk g date nx mnth..nk tgk wyg..so,kitorg da agree nk suprise each other wit our dressup..im neves n scared,cuz baby kate 2 suprise her n exceed her expectations with hw i dressup..klu aq xdpt wat cmner???? malu n tkt n neves pun ade gak..tp xpe,aq nk mntk tlg Eyd Saadan..tlg aq yek????? hehehehehehhee

MEMEKAK LA WEEIII!!!!

kat klj aq nie,dak2 junior nie,bpk mmkak..kire cm nk show off la kn..ingt kitorg kat cnie pkk sgt ke smpe korg kne ckp kuat2 sgt,pdhl korg sume dlm lab je..temasuk aq la skang nie..nk mltup telinge aq je..haaaa!!!! pdn muke,amek ko,pengetua da make an appearance..ckp la kuat lg..memekak aje..

pas2 bile klaz e-commerce,dorg duk kat blakang..tau la dat sir kdg2 je ajr,cuz nothing much 2 learn except kne wat blog tuk asgment,tp beragak la klu nk bckp..kne ke kuat sgt,pdhl korg 2 duk bkumpul kat blakang..smpe kat luar org leh dgr..2 bkn bckp da,2 da sah nmenye memekak..tlg la,ingt korg bguz sgt kew..plez la..1 of ur fren pun da kne tgkp cheating in an exam..klu korg nk suceed,ape gune korg nk meniru..in fact,wats d point korg nk cntinue study klu nk gak meniru..tlg la..GROW UP..

nyemak je..huh!!!!!

its a start..

smlm aq ngn baby g pavi..die ajk..kire spontan date la kn..aq xksh,in fact aq hepy ade la..cuz da lme gler xkuar g tgk wyg..2 wyg truz lak 2..haha..kitorg tgk cite Mars need Moms and I Am Number Four..bes gak la cite number 4, mars lak 2, lwk pun ade gak la..sdh pun ade gak..hehehe..

like baby said kn,kitorg stil rpt wlupun kitorg ade prob..tp,dats wat she wants..aq phm..n aq ade tnye die, at first ckp kite xleh nk meet like always,tp d day b4 dat pun kite ade kuar..mksd aq ari isnin la kn..n tuesday nite die ade msj dat she cnt wait 2 met me on wednesday(dat time kitorg plan nk kuar jln2 mlm,tp change of plan wen die ajk aq spontan date..hehe)aq hapy die ckp g2,tp wndering la gak kn..cuz xnk die sdh2..huhu..

n so,mse da blik smlm 2, aq msj la die ape yg aq wndering..die ckp,die hapy kite jmp2 n dpt lpk2 n rpt gak wlupun kite ade problem..die stil sdh n stress,tp die xnk think bout it,cuz if she keeps on thinking bout it 2 much,she wont heal..dats wat she said..n so,i decided not 2 talk bout it,cuz i dnt wana stress her up evn more..cuz she stil taking her asma medicine every nite,n dats really worrying..aq xnk die skt2 lame,especially xnk bdn die 2 dependent on her asma medicine..

evn if shes already healed,n i didnt pop d question yet,d question wer i ask her 2 cme back 2 me,aq leh tggu..klu die ask dlu,aq trime je la..cuz baby ade ckp,evn if she already heal,n i may not yet ask her d question back,she will ask me..as for me,aq pkr nk ask her back bulan 5..on trkh kitorg kapel..aq leh ask her anytime,tp cuz aq pun sdh n terase cuz she end it,aq pun need time n space..which unfortunately,i just realized..cuz d beginning,i just thought of having her back n make things rite,witout evn realizing how i feel..

wel,all i cn do is wait 4 dat time 2 appear..i dnt mind,as long i cn her smile n laugh n i noe,dat shes happy...

Its over..

me n baby,da officialy end.. smlm,aq rindu sgt2 kat die..den aq msj die..saying wat i wana say from d bottom of my heart.. n den, we stat 2 fite, not fite teruk, kire mcm aq gtau die ape aq nk,n die pun gtau ape die nk.. die mmg da xleh nk trime aq blik, cuz die btul2 da ilang trust kat aq... die xnk trime aq blik cuz die da xcye aq n stil hurt sgt2...

den, aq ckp aq nk jmp die... nk setlekn bnd nie face 2 face... ok, we meet mlm smlm... kitorg lpk kat dlm kete jew... aq ckp, aq phm klu die xnk trime aq, n die xtrust aq, aq phm... so, in order to ease her pain, aq stuju ngn cdgn die... we just b close frens je... tp, in my heart n her heart, honestly die ckp, die mmg xnk kwn ngn aq... bkn ape, kitorg xpnh bkwn... so its a weird thing 4 d both of us... dlu kitorg knl pun, cuz we r junior n senior... aq junior n die senior, aq form 3 dat time n she is form 5 dat time... so, die pun ckp, we r not frens, we r just close 2 each other... but not a kapel... kite bedua just rpt, cuz dlm 5 thun kite 2getr, die byk cite psl mslh die kat aq n aq pun same... kire kitorg mmg da knl sgt2... n cuz of dat, die xnk jawo dr aq... die kate we cn stil met, but not always like we used 2, cuz she need time n space... but, if anything dat aq nk ckp, smthing impotant or aq ade mslh, die kate aq leh contact die... n so does she...

die kate die stil nk stay ngn aq, live 2gter ngn aq, cuz die xde org laen yg lg rpt ngn die selain aq... aq tnye die, bole ke stay wit me, cuz aq tkt die stil hurt ke ape... n myb die nk stay wit 1 of her bff ke, ila nme die... die kate die xnk, die nk stay ngn aq gak no mater wat... lgpun die xnk stay kat umah ngn fmly die da... cuz dats her goal, 2 live away from her fmly... ok, i undestand... den, things lighten up a bit, cuz aq ade gurau2 ngn die skit2, n die pun same... den kitorg g mcd, aq blanje die eskem... kite mkn, den aq hulurkn tgn aq n say ''we start over?'' n die slm tgn aq... (tp actualy at first die xphm ape aq ckp..hehehe) evnthough kitorg jmp smlm, n die pndg aq, tp actualy die force herself 2 look at me... aq notice dat, cuz mate die sdh sgt... n aq tau hw her face reaction is klu die sdh... aq dpn2 ckp, klu xleh pndg org, jgn la pndg... tp die kate, xpe... org nk gak... dgl gak...hehehe

d reason i wana end dis pun,cuz aq xnk wat die ngs lg... evnthough aq sdh 2 do dis, n i do it against my will, cuz i still want her back, but i had 2 do it... cuz die ary2 ngs, n ary2 amek ubt asma... dats d main reason i wana end it... aq xnk die suffer lg truk... aq nk die calm down n kurgkn amek ubt asma... aq xnk, die kne asma lg truk, n knowing dat im d cause dat she having asma agen, it hurts me evn more, cuz not only i hurt d peson that im totally in love wit, i made her suffer wit her asma condition... i dnt want dat 2 hapen... dats y, its beter dis way... 2 mke her hapy n 2 mke her ok...

aq ade ckp, evnthough we nt kapel anymore, i wil always wait 4 u... die pun tnye blik, klu btul cm2, aq xkn nyesal ke cuz tggu die? aq jwb, '' i wont regret it..'' cuz dats d truth, sape lg yg aq ade selaen die... sape lg yg aq syg n cinta sgt2 selaen die... sape lg yg boleh msuk idup aq cm2 je? no one can... in my heart n mind, ders only her... den i ask her, would she find sme1 else 2? she say no... ders no 1 else cn just capture her heart like dat... 2 be honest, im glad wen she says dat...

n so, 2day is my first day being only a close peson 2 her... i stil feel a dead weight on my chest, yet im gona live wit it... i stil wear our ring, cuz its a reminder 2 me dat, how ive lost her, hw i hurt her n its prove dat shes my wife, n she will always b d peson dat i love... although she say, i dont need 2 wear it anymore, i say, im still gona wear it... cuz its a reminder 2 me, hw ive lost sme1 as perfect as her, who is so loving n caring n wonderful...