Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Its over..

me n baby,da officialy end.. smlm,aq rindu sgt2 kat die..den aq msj die..saying wat i wana say from d bottom of my heart.. n den, we stat 2 fite, not fite teruk, kire mcm aq gtau die ape aq nk,n die pun gtau ape die nk.. die mmg da xleh nk trime aq blik, cuz die btul2 da ilang trust kat aq... die xnk trime aq blik cuz die da xcye aq n stil hurt sgt2...

den, aq ckp aq nk jmp die... nk setlekn bnd nie face 2 face... ok, we meet mlm smlm... kitorg lpk kat dlm kete jew... aq ckp, aq phm klu die xnk trime aq, n die xtrust aq, aq phm... so, in order to ease her pain, aq stuju ngn cdgn die... we just b close frens je... tp, in my heart n her heart, honestly die ckp, die mmg xnk kwn ngn aq... bkn ape, kitorg xpnh bkwn... so its a weird thing 4 d both of us... dlu kitorg knl pun, cuz we r junior n senior... aq junior n die senior, aq form 3 dat time n she is form 5 dat time... so, die pun ckp, we r not frens, we r just close 2 each other... but not a kapel... kite bedua just rpt, cuz dlm 5 thun kite 2getr, die byk cite psl mslh die kat aq n aq pun same... kire kitorg mmg da knl sgt2... n cuz of dat, die xnk jawo dr aq... die kate we cn stil met, but not always like we used 2, cuz she need time n space... but, if anything dat aq nk ckp, smthing impotant or aq ade mslh, die kate aq leh contact die... n so does she...

die kate die stil nk stay ngn aq, live 2gter ngn aq, cuz die xde org laen yg lg rpt ngn die selain aq... aq tnye die, bole ke stay wit me, cuz aq tkt die stil hurt ke ape... n myb die nk stay wit 1 of her bff ke, ila nme die... die kate die xnk, die nk stay ngn aq gak no mater wat... lgpun die xnk stay kat umah ngn fmly die da... cuz dats her goal, 2 live away from her fmly... ok, i undestand... den, things lighten up a bit, cuz aq ade gurau2 ngn die skit2, n die pun same... den kitorg g mcd, aq blanje die eskem... kite mkn, den aq hulurkn tgn aq n say ''we start over?'' n die slm tgn aq... (tp actualy at first die xphm ape aq ckp..hehehe) evnthough kitorg jmp smlm, n die pndg aq, tp actualy die force herself 2 look at me... aq notice dat, cuz mate die sdh sgt... n aq tau hw her face reaction is klu die sdh... aq dpn2 ckp, klu xleh pndg org, jgn la pndg... tp die kate, xpe... org nk gak... dgl gak...hehehe

d reason i wana end dis pun,cuz aq xnk wat die ngs lg... evnthough aq sdh 2 do dis, n i do it against my will, cuz i still want her back, but i had 2 do it... cuz die ary2 ngs, n ary2 amek ubt asma... dats d main reason i wana end it... aq xnk die suffer lg truk... aq nk die calm down n kurgkn amek ubt asma... aq xnk, die kne asma lg truk, n knowing dat im d cause dat she having asma agen, it hurts me evn more, cuz not only i hurt d peson that im totally in love wit, i made her suffer wit her asma condition... i dnt want dat 2 hapen... dats y, its beter dis way... 2 mke her hapy n 2 mke her ok...

aq ade ckp, evnthough we nt kapel anymore, i wil always wait 4 u... die pun tnye blik, klu btul cm2, aq xkn nyesal ke cuz tggu die? aq jwb, '' i wont regret it..'' cuz dats d truth, sape lg yg aq ade selaen die... sape lg yg aq syg n cinta sgt2 selaen die... sape lg yg boleh msuk idup aq cm2 je? no one can... in my heart n mind, ders only her... den i ask her, would she find sme1 else 2? she say no... ders no 1 else cn just capture her heart like dat... 2 be honest, im glad wen she says dat...

n so, 2day is my first day being only a close peson 2 her... i stil feel a dead weight on my chest, yet im gona live wit it... i stil wear our ring, cuz its a reminder 2 me dat, how ive lost her, hw i hurt her n its prove dat shes my wife, n she will always b d peson dat i love... although she say, i dont need 2 wear it anymore, i say, im still gona wear it... cuz its a reminder 2 me, hw ive lost sme1 as perfect as her, who is so loving n caring n wonderful...

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